kHILAF...KUUU

I’m really sorry. I’ve never felt really
bad like this. This guilt is killing me
and I don’t know where do I turn to. I’m
at my weakest and I just can’t take it
anymore. Please heal my feelings, I’m
hurt and broken because of all the
wrongs I’ve done. I’m just a human being
and I keep on making mistakes, and yet I
just can’t get over it. I’m worn out and
still I try to withstand. Please give me
strength to keep holding on. I won’t
stop and I won’t back down, but I have
the limit of my patience. As the going
gets tough, I just can’t help myself
from being helpless and I can’t stop
from blaming myself. I apologize for
all mistakes I’ve made, for all the
lacks I’ve shown and for all of my
weaknesses that caused so much trouble.
I’m learning and trying to make myself
better. Forgive me if somehow it makes
you feel uneasy, dear friends. Please
accept me the way I am. Thank you for
reminding me to stand on the ground when
I lost my stance and thank you for
putting me back on track when I’ve gone
so far from the right path. There’s so
much that I can regret of and yet there
are so many things that I should be
grateful for. If this is what has been
fated for me, then let me stand on my
feet and get moving. Don’t let me dwell
on my mistakes, just let me progress
myself. I won’t become greater, but at
least I can say that I finally get to
gather myself and move on to become
better. Insya Allah